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The Man in the Glass - Introduction
Greetings to all,
I have been a web master for a few years now, but on a completely different subject - Information Technologies, which is also my career - the career I never dreamed I would be capable of having a decade ago. I am a trainer and web master of www.tamingthebeast.net. I mention this now to clarify a point. I am in no way associated with the book/s by the same name dealing with the subject of addiction. I have been trading in Australia as a technology consultant under "Taming the Beast" since 1996. It's just one of life's strange little coincidences....if there is such a thing
My name is Michael, and I'm an alcoholic/addict. My story is much like many others, such is the nature of the disease of addiction. I have also been privileged enough to survive, one day at a time - not only survive, but thrive.
The disease concept and addiction is something that a great deal of people have trouble coming to terms with. Alcoholism/addiction is considered by many to be a personality flaw. It is not. It is a genetic predisposition, a chemical imbalance. I'll address these issues in another article.
I was raised in a loving environment by parents who tried their utmost to give me the best possible education, health care and ethics that they could.
I was never the easiest child to raise I am told, but things went crazy when I hit that magical age that I have heard spoken by so many people of so many backgrounds, so many times - 13. I hated the way I looked, I felt out of place, I hated the world - the usual angst of adolescence. Then I discovered alcohol. The first time that I became drunk, it was the most wonderful experience of my life, the second time I was drunk, I nearly lost it. The following 10 years would see me cause a great deal of destruction and pain to all those who cared about me. I never wanted consciously to hurt anyone, but again, such is the nature of addiction.
Alcohol was only the first step, but it was the constant companion. I "graduated" through the usual "soft" drugs - if there is such a thing. I became addicted to tranquilizers and sleeping pills.
I was in trouble with the police on a number of occasions in my teens, had many prolonged stays in hospital for "depression" and became a professional patient. I stole, cheated and lied. I would have done anything to protect the disease that was killing me.
After my heavy bouts of pills and booze, I would become very sick for days and swear never to do it again. But the sweats, shakes, hallucinations, nausea, petit mal seizures did not stop me from repeating the behavior hundreds of times. I attempted suicide on a number of occasions.
For those of you who are reading this, I guess this is all a familiar scenario. How many of you reading this are still living this scenario? Or do you have a loved one living it, and making you live through it too?
There is hope, a complete stranger showed it to me and I would like to pass the knowledge on. Anything I state in my articles is not from the "Michael Bloch Book of Wisdom". I am not wise. I am just a messenger, and it is not my message.
My recovery is not something that I treat lightly. I am fascinated with the subject of addiction and have spent a number of years studying it - from the viewpoint of the sufferer and the families.
Life is not a bed of roses now, but it is good.... and I can remember it! Since beginning recovery, Life has been a rocket ride. The first year was incredibly hard on me and all those around me, but once something "clicked", it became so much easier.
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